9.10.2009

TAINTS OF LOS ANGELES


It's irresponsible and lame to use a virtually anonymous internet platform to wish bodily harm on a human being. But Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx is 90% vagina so he doesn't qualify as a person with feelings. So I double-taked like a motherfucker when a co-worker hipped me to the news about a stabbing at a recent Motley Crue show in New York. My first words were Has Sixx been neutralized? Has this month's HooM! Poll (vote over there) spurred some wackjob to fatal action? Can you see this pie stain on my shirt? The answer to all three was no. Sigh.
Trouble started for John Bieganski when he thought he saw a friend being tackled and punched by one or two other men. When he tried to pull one of the men off his friend -- it turned out not to be his friend who was being attacked -- Bieganski said he suddenly felt something warm on his leg, touched it, and then saw the blood. He required 28 stitches to close a gaping 4-inch wound on his leg.
Unless he got confused cuz, say, Bieganski wears Sixx brand clothing and thus closely resembles Flabby McDoublechin, I can't understand the unidentified assailant's rationale. Wait, unless he planned to heave Bieganski's prone body onto Sixx from great height, crushing the lardass bassist to death. Shit we've all contemplated doing that.


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