I understand that Slayer guitarist Kerry King feels it's necessary to wrestle attention away from at least two outlandish uber-bimbos (Ulrich, Mustaine) whose antics distract from the band's forthcoming record World Painted Blood, but his claims lately have been alternately hateful and far-fetched. Why just the other day he told somebody at Metal Hammer:
I don't know Lars that well and I haven't heard it from Lars, but apparently he's talking to somebody about maybe us, Metallica, Megadeth, I think he even threw in Anthrax and I said in this day and age, I know we had that time together, but how do you leave out Machine Head? There's better options than Anthrax and that's nothing against Anthrax, but they've just been in pieces for quite some time and that doesn't make as much sense to me.
OK wow Kerry you're kinda all over the place. First, a magical, imaginary tour with Metallica headlining over Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax? Um I guess it's possible, like say if Lars is looking to consolidate his power and exploit the ongoing Thrash Metal renaissance. Could happen. Oh but you'd have to promise Mustaine all sorts of ridiculous shit, like a coffee roaster and strategic No-Lars Zones. Anyway, then you have bewildering praise for Machine Head; that just sounds like four vicodins and a Red Bull talking. OK, he's right about the Nonthrax line-up issues, but Machine Head's best is way more depressing than Anthrax at their very worst. And I've seen both so yeah trust me. And lastly, dude, is Testament a figment of my fucking imagination? I thought we all agree that it should've been the Big Five. Fuck it. Remember that Headbanger's Ball tour with Anthrax, Helloween, and Exodus in like 1989? Well, HooM! could steal that idea for Testament, Cynic, and Municipal Waste and none of you fuckers are invited.
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