9.02.2009

MAKING AN ARSENAL OF MEGADAVE



Between a billion breathless interviews and his own blog (I think), the Dave Mustaine demographic is represented in contemporary media to a profanely disproportionate degree. Latinos as an ethnic group are less visible than Mustaine (vote in this month's poll over there), who used to be in Metallica and cries about it on camera. Up til Countdown, I put up a shield of denial about Metal's most tireless narcissist; Dave seemed more tragic than hate-able, and as a young Thrash Metalilst I could relate to public humiliation albeit not as public nor humiliating as being fired by Lars Ulrich. But once his records became hollow, pointless exercises in self-fellatio, Dave's awful routine went from tiresome to nauseating. His Metallica inferiority complex has resulted in some of history's worst and most poorly produced hard rock ("Almost Honest") and his arrogance ensures that he is earth's sole inhabitant who doesn't consider his career a strictly defined by Metallica. And like Metallica, now that Metal is ahem popular again, he's suddenly all fucking Metal and not like The Black Album with a colon blockage.

Granted, the guy has good cause to be a nut; for 25 years, dudes have been pestering him about Metallica. And Metallica themselves are king shit of Metal, to Megadeth's lord fartwhiff. I get it -- it stings. But how about this Dave? Be a man about it. That's kinda sexist or genderist or something, but yeah. Suck it up. So you took one in the nads back in the 80s. Shit in the '80s I used to roller skate around my parents' basement listening to the Who's That Girl? soundtrack. I'm over it. Just be cool, goddamnit. Like me!


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