10.14.2008

CYNIC, MEGAN HAUSERMAN FTW



It was a major disappointment that after, what, six months of bikinis and manipulation, Megan Hauserman got the ax on VH1's I Love Money. That shit was FIXED: After Real was ousted, suddenly appears a vengeful jury made up not of the entire bunch of rejects, but only the rejects whose demise was engineered by Hauserman. No, fuck that; 'engineered' is inaccurate. She didn't just carry out actions, she conceived them; and therefore, Hauserman masterminded that shit, analyzing each situation, identifying a desired result, and having the finesse to pull the strings of wildly irrational broke-asses/porn actors. Masterminded. She never won a single challenge (and therefore was not once exempt from elimination), but still made it to the final episode! The jury didn't even get the satisfaction of bouncing Meggles -- she saw the writing on the wall and bailed! Ha! And she ooowned those flabby hoes at the ILM reunion. MASTERMINDED.  

Know what else is disappointing? Oh maybe that instead of buying my Megan-Brandi C. Rollergirls show (worst pitch meeting EVER!), VH1 has slated for a Fall premiere Real Chance At Love starring I Love New York/ILM brothers Real and Chance. Yes, those corny putzes. One dresses like the cowboy and the biker from The Village People. The other one needed to bring a second man to harass a sleeping Mr. Boston. They get a show? Should be called Real Gay-Ass Love

Finally, crushing disappointment rocks the Metal world today. The long-awaited Cynic album becomes long-awaiteder. From Blabbermouth:
Traced in Air's North American release date has been pushed back to November 25 from the previously announced October 28. Commenting on the delay, guitarist/vocalist Paul Masvidal stated, "[The delay] offers us the potential to spread the word even more about this album. Sean [Reinert; drums] and I are extremely proud of the new record and are looking forward to sharing it with Cynic fans around the world, even if we have to wait just a bit longer. We're thrilled about touring with Opeth next month in Europe, and of course the States' tour beginning in January is going to be on fire!"


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