10.28.2008

STEVEN ADLER IS LIVING MY DREAM



Former Guns 'N Roses drummer Steven Adler is in a piteous state, a fact known to the world thanks to VH1's awful shamefest Celebrity Rehab. A gibbering, speech-slurring Adler makes quite an impression, even on a show whose standard of normalcy is represented by batshit insane Gary Busey. I feel for Adler this week as he's haunted by the finally to-be-released Chinese Democracy LP by his old band and the bummer news that Slash, his partner in crime since high school, has selected the detestable Matt Sorum to handle drum duties for the guitarist's solo debut. It's a stretch to think Adler was even being considered to play on anything, but still: Ouch. From Rolling Stone:
Steven Adler, who was the most cringe-worthy addict on Celebrity Rehab last night: sobbing about how his friendship with Slash has deteriorated to the point where the guitarist didn’t ring him up to drum on his upcoming solo LP, sucking down bong hits while proclaiming his desire to die, declaring his admiration for Jeff Conaway (whose leather jacket and curled hair made him look like a zombie Kenickie).
See, there's a lesson in there somewhere. Avoid crack and heroin, and functioning as a drug-gobbling lunatic isn't so bad. That is, until the hugest regret in your life grows teeth and bites your dick off. Then you're upset, an emotion not helped by intoxicants as any college girl can tell you around 1am on a Thursday.


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