SKOLNICK GET BACK TO WORRRRRRRRRK!

Uh I have a question. What the fuck is with Trans-Siberian Orchestra? What the fuck is that shit? It's hard rock with a fruity symphony. And holiday music. And Savatage. That's creepy as fuck. I wouldn't care but HooM! field correspondents indicate that Jon Oliva's Pain, fronted by the worshipped former Savatage frontman, has been playing TSO songs during recent concerts. That is fucked up. Play Savatage, Doctor Butcher, and JO'sP* and leave that "She's comin' home this Karistmuss Daaaaaay" shit** to the half-dozen TSO touring companies that blanket the planet every winter. Get some more lighting rigs why don't you. Look at all those sweaters. Way to go, O'Neill***.

And worst of all, ladies and germs, Testament guitarist Alex Skolnick apparently finds TSO more important than COTLOD. From Blabbermouth:

Bay Area thrash legends Testament have recruited guitarist Glen Drover (ex-Megadeth, King Diamond) to fill in for Alex Skolnick on their upcoming Mexican tour dates with Judas Priest ... due to Skolnick's prior commitment to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The band rehearsed together all week and sounds sharper than ever!

Drover says, "I am really looking forward to playing these four upcoming shows in Mexico with my buddies in Testament, along with Judas Priest. We are totally going to crush! This is something I am very happy about, as I have not played live since leaving Megadeth one year ago. For those of you who will be in attendance at these shows, I hope you enjoy yourselves half as much as I will."

Uh did Testament's publicist mean to imply that Testament is a better band not with Alex Skolnick (Hall of Fame) but with Glen Drover (only ranking above Al Pitrelli among guitarists fired by Dave Mustaine). But Drover's a sweetie here, making no secret of his love of Testament. I would kill to be in his shoes -- four shows doing Alex Skolnick's work. Hey wait a second why didn't they ask me? After all, I'm a guitarist who dreams of hitting Mustaine with a hammer. Bam! I'm qualified!

*Yup. Four awful band names.

**The solo in that song is like a totally gay version of this totally gay solo

***But nice job on that first Badlands record