10.10.2008

MIGHT AS WELL JUMP UP AND DOWN ON EDDIE'S FACE


'HE WAS GETTING IN MY SHOT': The Eat 'Em And Smile Tour comes to an abrupt halt one night in 1986 when David Lee Roth crushes his teeny guitarist on stage.

Happy 54th Birthday Diamond David Lee Roth! Too bad Eddie already gave Ol' Number One his present: an enormous pain-in-the-ass in form of his new financee/VH publicist Janie Liszewski. We at HooM! are pricing these to counter Ed's gift, like when one friend got me a stripper and another left two condoms in the alley behind his house. Note: Don't staple condoms to a sleeping bum. It causes potentially-catastrophic punctures to latex and bum alike. If she and I hadn't blasted tons of crack, I'd be a father by now. Shudder.


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