10.01.2008

I DON'T GET TED NUGENT




It's 2008 and everybody's well aware that Ted Nugent is a dingleberry, but what about the music behind the man? Sure, Ted has always been er colorful but can anyone fill me in on the rest? Let's see ... how about the big one, "Cat Scratch Fever"? Jock bullshit! That shit shoulda been called "Can't Catch Beaver" or possibly "Fat, Stretched Weener."* And what's the real long wanky tune? the total chore of a song that finds the pathologically anti-drug Nuge (or is he duh-duh-duuuhhh) shaaaamelessly pandering to stoners? Ah yes, "Stranglehold"; we've met on many a night. It actually gets worse from there, what with gems like ahem "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" and "Free For All" to the so, so very hilarious WangChungcore classic "Little Miss Dangerous" (above) and on into the 90s when he got political with "Kiss My Ass" and "Thighraceous." Ok that's not very political. And Ted, champ, I don't think you grasp the term gonzo

I'm not trying to beat up on the guy, but c'mon he's the worst part of fuckin Damn Yankees! Which also includes fucking Tommy Shaw (woman) and Jack Blades (of Night Ranger)! Was he dating a toilet cleaner in Gary, Indiana? Partying with the 12th man on the Clippers? Is this thing on?  

*"Shat Mad Peanuts"? 

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